Authored by Dr. Mary James, ND
Most of the women we talk to are relieved when we ask how their sex lives are going because many need help — and they want it fast. They know that a healthy sex drive is a sign that the body is in balance but many in menopause are not having much sex, and even worse, they aren’t even interested in it. Unfortunately this applies to all types of sex, with or without a partner.
If low libido and/or physical symptoms have become major concerns for you — or for your partner, you can do something about it. Low sex drive, vaginal dryness, irritability and fatigue are symptoms of hormonal imbalance that can often be reversed with some simple — but crucial — natural steps .
If you want to recover your interest in sex, and coax your body into being more receptive to it, get started with these four steps.
Step 1: Jumpstart your sex drive: address the physical
This is the most critical step for most women in menopause who would rather do just about anything other than have sex. Fluctuations in estrogen, progesterone and especially testosterone can cause low sex drive. This hormonal imbalance also causes vaginal dryness, moodiness, fatigue and irritability. Who wants to be intimate when she’s suffering from uncomfortable or stressful symptoms?
To put yourself back on track sexually, start by rebalancing your hormones. Try a plant-based product with passionflower, chasteberry and wild yam. These have soothing properties similar to the hormone progesterone. They can help to level your moods, reduce irritability and decrease sleep irregularities. Ashwagandha is also a secret herb. Ashwagandha influences testosterone production, making this aphrodisiac a crucial component to improving your sex drive. We know that hormonal balance is absolutely key to having a healthy libido. So we formulated Herbal Equilibrium to contain all these powerful plants. Other specific ingredients can help increase sex drive or promote your body’s sexual response. These include the amino acid l-arginine, for sensation and responsiveness, along with muira puama for sexual vitality and eleuthero for endurance and stamina. We’ve included them all in our Arginelle formula.
Herbal Equilibrium
Doctor-formulated natural support for hormonal balance during perimenopause and menopause
Step 2: Feel beautiful again: revitalize your body image
Magazines, TV and movies tell us that wearing skimpy lingerie and stiletto heels is what “sexy” is. But, most men and women are attracted to people who are “turned on,” no matter their looks or age. Shifting your perspective about your body is a key factor in recovering a healthy appetite for sex.
This can start by making a commitment to figuring out what makes you feel sexy. This may be a new way of dressing, a new hobby or physical activity like dance classes or yoga, a new adventure or something else entirely. You decide.
Step 3: Who do you love: make intimate YOU time
Contrary to mainstream opinion, interest in sex may not always start with an attraction to a partner. Though having a partner can be great fun in the bedroom, alone time — leisurely exploring your body or masturbating, reading/watching erotica, or simply day dreaming — is essential for fueling a good sex drive. Erotica offers fresh ideas, imagery, and sexual and romantic fantasies. They can wake up a part of you that you thought had gone to sleep for good.
Just look at how popular Fifty Shades of Grey is with women of all ages. Many women are locking the bedroom door to read a chapter or two!
Step 4: This is not a test: remember sex is play
Sex educator and bestselling author Barbara Carrellas says, “Sex is play… We get hung up about what doesn’t work the way it used to or what ‘the magazine’ said it should look like. There are an infinite number of erotic possibilities.” Sex incorporates way more than intercourse between a man and a woman. And by the time we reach menopause or perimenopause, fresh ideas are a great way to ignite your sex drive.
Here are some ideas: try erotic massage, spend time sharing fantasies with your partner (you might even try acting them out), have sex in an unusual place. Barbara Carrellas talks about finding the right combination of safety and risk to turn you on without making you uncomfortable. You decide how close or far you go.
Every bit of time and emotional energy you spend on revitalizing your libido will pay off in your life and overall health. If you haven’t had sex in a long time, we promise you that with or without a partner, you’ll be happy you made recovering your libido a priority.
A healthy sex drive is a sign that your body is in balance. Libido is a life force in so many ways. Sex can improve cardiovascular health, sleep and stress relief. It also releases natural pain killers and increases your sense of wellbeing. Not to mention the fact that sex helps you look great in menopause by creating a youthful glow to your appearance that no amount of makeup can achieve!
Start to increase libido in menopause by balancing your hormones and getting in touch with what you need to feel good. We’re here to help!
